Only a Game
by GerudoGirl89
Summary: G: Master Hand needs a break from insanity, so he's sending the smashers to play a war game! Which team will be victorious? Who will survive? Will Master's headache go away? features all Melee characters and some Brawl ones. R&R, first Smash fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Master's Idea**

_**Hello there, peoples! I was really bored and thought of this for some strange reason. **__****__** Since Nintendo's lawyers are holding a gun to my head, I'd better say that I own nothing except my OC's (If I include any). Now, put the gun down so I can write in peace. Thank you. Roll chapter.

* * *

**_

Master Hand was in a bad mood. Nothing was going right, the bills for food (Kirby, Yoshi, and Pikachu's fault) and electricity (Marth, Peach, Zelda, Falcon, and Wolf) were through the roof. He needed a dang vacation. Even now, the Brawlers were racing around, lighting things on fire, eating, fighting, and being idiots. Wolf, Fox, and Falco were racing around in their ships, blasting each other if they came too close. Roy, tired of all the swordsmen, was trying to teach of them to fight well. So far, only Ganondorf, Meta-Knight, and Link were any good. Captain Falcon took a break from racing and currently wasting power upgrading the Blue Falcon with power tools Pichu gave him for Christmas.

Just as Master was considering rationing the electricity and food, in popped Link. "What?!" the enormous glove demanded. Link scratched his head. He hated talking with Master: it made him nervous to be around a giant floating glove that reminded him somehow of Bongo-Bongo.

"Master, umm . . . do you need a vacation?" he asked hesitantly. On Master Hand's invisible forehead, a vein began to pulse.

"Are you willing to take over for me?" the elder Hand inquired, barely concealing his desire to beat the hell out of the Hero of Time. Link paled at the thought of all that paperwork.

"Uhhh . . . no, I was thinking . . . everybody's bored, and, uh . . . you could, well, you could keep us all occupied by enlisting in a sport or something, you know, safe for the kids and stuff, and uh . . ."

"BRILLIANT!" the Hand seized Link and squeezed tightly, his attempt at a hug, and raced out the door. "EVERYBODY, FRONT AND CENTER!"

Link blinked (rhyme!). "Uh, that went well."

* * *

"All right you useless excuses for skin, PAY ATTENTION!" Master floated onstage into the deathly quiet. Almost deathly quiet. "**Wolf O'Donnell put away that damn phone before I beat you to death with it!"**

Wolf hastily put away the iPhone and pretended to be listening. "Good. We are going to play a little game. And before you ask," he added, seeing Bowser, Mewtwo, Meta-Knight, Ganondorf, and a handful of others raise their hands, "participation is _mandatory_. If you don't, I'll make you babysit my brother and clean out the basement."

"I don't actually mind your brother," replied Ganondorf. He was the version from OOT, because Master Hand hated the TP counterpart (and so does the author). OOT Ganondorf wasn't _half _as rude and rude as TP version.

Master Hand scowled (if it's possible). "Dang you, Ganondork. Uh, I'll make you . . . uh . . . uh . . . I don't know, you still have to play."

"Dammit."

"SHUT UP!" Master took a few deep breaths to calm down and continued in a tone of forced composedness. "This is a fairly easy game; you will all be separated into teams, Red Team, Blue Team, and Green Team. Each person will be given 'guns' that, when shot, 'kill' you enemies. In reality, they vanish from the playing field and reappear in a room where they can watch their friends and opponents at leisure. Each team is also given a flag. If one team steals another's flag and takes it back to home base, they win a point and the stolen-from team's base vanishes. For example, if Green Team takes Red Team's flag back to base, Red's base is gone, and anyone in it has to flee in order to survive. They can either try to take down as many as they can, quit and be 'executed', be taken prisoner, or attempt to run away to the 'border,' like the border in a country. If they want to do so, they have to get rid of all their weaponry and anything given to them at the beginning to go forward."

"So we'd be like, fleeing civilians?" asked Ness.

"Except anyone, and I mean _anyone_, can catch you easily. Cloaking devices, Grappling Hook-like things, 'grenades,' vehicles, and a twenty strong Wire Frame army will be hard to evade. But, you'll be able to know if anyone's been around, because each shot that misses will leave a splash of correspondingly-colored paint."

"Does anyone have the feeling that we're doomed?" muttered Bowser out of the corner of his mouth. Marth nodded gravely.

"Very dead," he said. More rhymes!

"So, uh, we get vehicles, 'grenades' to 'kill' our enemies, guns, Cloaking Devices, Grappling Hooks . . . Probably full military-like gear too, right?" asked Mario, ticking the things off on his fingers.

"Camouflage," admitted Master. "Or whatever you want to wear. Samus is forbidden from wearing her suit; the boys can't use their ships, limited magic for Zelda, Ness, Lucas, and any of you other peoples. Mewtwo's powers will also be limited, a lot. Is that all?" there were scattered nods. "One more thing. If you want a particular person on your team, write their name and a small explanation on a card and turn it in by tomorrow. That is all. Get LOST!"

* * *

Roy grinned, putting the finishing touches on his letter. He had asked to have Link and Marth on his team, his two best friends in the entire Mansion. Marth was funny and Link was an excellent swordsman and hunter; he'd be essential to the entire project.

"Hey Roy," called Link. He too held a letter in his hand. "Just finished. Who'd you ask for?"

"You and Marth," the pyro replied promptly. "You?"

"Zelda," admitted Link sheepishly. "And you, Marth, and Ike. I don't have a crush on her or anything, I love her like a sister and I don't want her on the same side as Ganondorf or Bowser. I bet Mario feels the same way."

"About what?" Mario had come from the opposite end of the hallway. "I asked for Peach to be on my team, away from Bowser," he explained to Link's questioning look. "I don't want her hurt."

"I feel the same way about Zelda."

"I see." Mario pondered a moment. "We can only hope that, if they are put on the same team as our adversaries, nothing happens. Relationships have settled between Bowser and I, but . . . in such a game, who knows what will go wrong?"

* * *

Alone in the room she shared with Peach and Samus, Zelda began to write a letter to Master Hand.

_Dear Master,  
__This might sound strange, but I'd actually like Ganondorf on my team. Link is extremely overprotective of me, and I actually believe what you told us about Ganondorf's condition. He's a great fighter and probably experienced in something like this. Please don't put Link on my team, and don't tell him I wrote this to you.  
__Thank you,  
__Zelda _

She sealed the letter and crept out the window as Sheik, climbing on balconies and open-air walkways down to Master Hand's office.

* * *

Master Hand looked over the notes he received that night.

_Dear Master Hand,  
__I WANT NESS ON MY TEAM BECAUSE HE'S AWESOME!  
__Thanks,  
__Lucas_

_Master,  
__Whatever you do, don't put Lucario and Mewtwo on the same team. They'll kill each other.  
__Roy (Learned from experience)_

_Mazter Hand,  
__Like my new way of spelling your name? Anyway, I'd really like it if Fox was on the opposite team. We're already opponents; I don't want to work with him.  
__Wolf _

_DON'T PUT ME WITH WOLF!  
__Peace,  
__Fox_

_Master,  
__You might want to consider checking Snake's pockets for any unwanted "tricks" before he enters the game. Just warning you so nobody blows up.  
__Sincerely,  
__Marth_

"Definitely some changes to make," muttered the giant hand. "Hmm . . . she goes here, he goes there . . ."

Master Hand was up all night making changes to the list, while Crazy Hand snored in a corner of the room, curled up in an oversized dog basket.

* * *

_**So, should I continue this or delete it, folks? And also, if you've noticed a lot of Ganondorf cropping up in this, I plan on featuring him, Bowser, Mewtwo, and a couple others that everyone else seems to ignore more often. I try to be equal. It's hard.  
**_**Zelda: Suggestions and reviews are great, folks. Whom would YOU like on each team? Some requests will be granted, not all, sorry.  
**_**Don't hurt me for saying that, people. Thanks, and be sure to review!**_


	2. FILLERZ! :

****

FILLERZ!

_Hello people! This is actually a little filler chapter, because . . . well, I only have one suggestion. If anyone else wants to give me his or her choice, do so in a review or PM! I accept anon reviews, ladies and gentlemen! Around 2 weeks from today, I'll close the suggestions box and write the next chapter!  
_

**Vaati: Please vote to have me added to the teams . . .  
**_**Vaati, go away. Now . . . Since Nintendo's lawyers are still at my house, I own nothing.

* * *

**_"Hello, fans, this is _Smash Interviews! _Or, as I like to call it, _Smashviews!_" The speaker was a tall, good-looking man with neatly trimmed dark brown hair and bright hazel eyes. He wore a black suit and red tie, and went by the name of Zach Parker. He sat in a comfortable chair onstage, in front of a set that looked like a pair of windows, behind which projectors displayed a beautiful garden and forest. Along the walls where the audience sat were hangings in different colors, each about eight or nine feet long, with a Smash symbol and _Smashviews! _embroidered into it. The producers didn't like Zach's taste, but they couldn't do anything about it, he was the only one willing (or stupid ) enough to do this show.

"Hey, are you Gerard Way?!" a Goth looking girl screamed from the back row. She wore dog chains and a disturbing amount of black makeup, with a T-shirt that read, _Gerard Way is my Hero!_

"No, I'm not," replied Zach in an annoyed voice. Twelve people immediately stood up and left. "Wait! Gerard's my cousin!" twelve people came back, like a flock of disturbingly dark, Goth pigeons. _Who the heck is Gerard Way? _wondered the _Smashviews! _host. Aloud, he said, "Today we have a particular person with us to do an interview. He's been forgotten in most fanfics, he's been called ugly, stupid, boring, and evil, HEEEE-EEEERREEE'S . . . **MEWTWO!**"

Mewtwo floated onstage amidst scattered applause. _Cheer! _he commanded. Three or four people began to cheer halfheartedly, afraid of what the Psychic would do to them if they didn't.

_Ridley's ghost, this guy is a creep! _Zach told himself, in the safety of his own mind.

_I heard that_, replied Mewtwo.

_Eep! _"So, Mister Mewtwo . . ." began Zach. This wasn't going well already . . . .

_Mewtwo only_, snapped the Psychic Pokémon.

_Dang, his moods change fast . . . . _"Yes, Mewtwo," said Zach nervously, beads of sweat beginning to develop on his pale forehead. "So, Mewtwo, uh . . . do you feel angry that people often portray you as a mindless killer?"

_Yes, of course. I am not as cruel as people believe me to be. I must admit, I did attack that pitiful Trainer Ash, but . . . he deserved it. He was bugging me. _

"DID NOT!" this wasn't the Goth, but a Pokémon fanatic dressed like Red. He really looked rather pathetic with plastic Poké Balls on his belt, a red cap with a Poké Ball on it, and a backpack that looked like he'd borrowed it from his little sister. Pokémon and Barbie don't go well, after all . . .

A vein twitched in Mewtwo's forehead, and he lifted the boy, throwing him directly into a huge blue-and-silver _Smashviews! _hanging that decorated the walls. Dazed, he slid gently to the ground, unharmed. He then stood up clumsily and ran out, screaming, "MOMMY! The kitty cat hurt me!"

Zach was getting worried. _I'm getting even more scared now . . . wait, Mewtwo can hear me!_

_Exactly._

"Get outta my head!" shrieked Zach, hiding under his chair. Amazing how a full-grown man can fit half his body under a chair like that. He began to bawl. "I don't want you seeing the memories of my traumatic childhood!"

_"Mama, can I have some more cake?" a five-year-old Zach asked his mother, whose name was Lillian. She frowned._

_"No, you've had three slices and you're extremely pudgy for your age, Zach. Now, off to bed, my sweet little boy." She picked him up and turned down the hall to his room._

"NO! CAKE! GIMME CAKE! MOMMY!" the little boy beat on his mother's back, furiously screaming and begging for more sweets. Poor, poor Lillian . . . .

"Shut up and stop reminiscing! Get the kitten off the stage!" a fat man in the second row roared. There was a silence while his words penetrated Zach's skull.

Zach stopped crying and stood up angrily. Mewtwo was already powering up a Shadow Ball. They walked calmly to the edge of the stage and glared at the man in question. He paled. _Uh-oh . . . ._

_Kitten?_

"Did you tell me to shut up?" Zach asked, a shade too patiently.

"Crap." The fat man didn't have much time to say anything else before both Zach and Mewtwo attacked him, Mewtwo with his awesome powers, Zach with a modest 9 MM and five-inch long knife. The fat man screamed bloody murder. Too late.

"DIE!" Zach shrieked. "Nobody tells me to shut up OR force me to stop thinking about stuff! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

_I'm a Psychic cat Pokémon, not a KITTEN!! DIE!_

Vaati hastily ran onstage, microphone in hand, wincing at the scene. The audience was fleeing the room, away from the murderous looks on both host and guest's faces. "Sorry, folks, we have to cut this short," he said quickly. "We'll continue this next episode! Everybody out! Cut! CUT! SECURITY!"

And so, Zach was hauled off the stage by a Wire-Frame security unit, the fat man was taken to the hospital, and Mewtwo escaped with his victim's wig. And that's the end.

**Commercials!**

"Remember, only buy Hylian Cucoos, the best quality meat in all of Smash City!" A beaming Snake held up two frozen Cucoos in bags. He was wearing not cameo, but a crisp black suit, powder-blue shirt, and tie. His normally unkempt hair was neatly combed and gelled into place, and, even stranger still, _he didn't have a cigarette in his mouth_. Anyone who knew Solid Snake and saw that commercial laughed themselves stupid.

Suddenly, Snake leaned close to the camera, the happy expression gone from his face; he now looked almost panicky. "Please buy them," he said urgently, "If I screw this up, the producers are gonna . . ."

"SNAKE!"

"Eep!" Snake hid under his cardboard box. "Nobody here!" he threw the frozen chickens out of the box. They rolled innocently to the producer's feet.

"Kill him," he said conversationally. The two armed security guards dragged the poor, screaming Snake out of the box. The producer turned to the camera, a sunny smile on his face. "And remember; if you don't buy our chickens, Solid Snake will die!"

* * *

_**I swear, I know it's random, and not very funny, but . . . I'm not a funny person. **_**:( **_**Sorry.  
**_**Vaati: Am I a producer?  
**_**. . . Sure, why not?  
**_**Vaati: Yay!  
**_**Uhhh . . . be sure to review and, uh, give me suggestions for the teams and whatnot. Second, if you think my humor needs work (probably you do) tell me what I could have done on this to make it funnier so I know next time. **_**:) **_**Thanks!**_


	3. Training

**Chapter 2: Training**

_**Okay, I know last chapter was a really stupid filler, even I admit it. I had friends help me write it (because I am terrible at humor) and we didn't do a better job than I normally do on my own, especially the Gerard thing. I might remove it. **_**:)**_** Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts. I've never had this many people review at once. **_**:)

* * *

**

Breakfast was its usual chaos. Kirby was running around, inhaling people's food (and sometimes the people themselves). So far, Peach, Zelda, Fox, and Bowser had been inhaled along with their plates. Most of the smashers were having a food fight, not really caring who they hit or who was playing. Meta Knight was surrounded by people throwing food, but tried to ignore it by reading. This worked until a sausage link bounced off his face and into the book.

Meta Knight went extremely red in the face. He took out his sword, waving it about threateningly. Falco paled and ran away. Meta Knight smirked, beginning to read again. Works every time.

Roy, Marth, Ike, and Link sat together, trying to eat in relative peace despite the bouncing food. "So, does anyone know when Master's gonna post the teams?" inquired Roy, wincing as a bit of fried egg flew across the room and bounced off his cheek.

Link used his shield to deflect a chunk of ham. "I think he was planning on posting it during . . ." he stopped. Roy was running across the room, a bowl of cereal on his head, shouting at Donkey Kong.

"Breakfast," finished Link wearily. Marth nodded. He used his tray to protect himself from food bits by holding it over his head. "Speak of the devil, he's here!"

Master carried a huge roll of paper between two fingers as he calmly floated through the room. Everyone fell silent; the flying food fell to the ground unnoticed.

And then, Wolf's cell phone rang.

"**WOLF!**"

"Sorry, Master," he replied sheepishly. "It's my girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend?" asked Fox. Falco sniggered.

"Shut up, Fuzzface."

"All right, you people, I've decided you need a little training. Everyone, ten minutes, outside. If you're not outside, I'll steal your soul. These are the tentative teams. If you don't like them, send me another letter. That is all."

He stuck the paper to the wall and left without another word. There was a brief silence.  
As one, almost every single smasher ran over to the wall, complaining loudly or cheering happily. Link was cheerful and disappointed, Marth and Roy were with him, and Ike was on another team. His eyes slid down the list . . .

Ganondorf and Zelda?!

It was inconceivable that Master would be that stupid! Sure, he and Zelda were from an alternate Hyrule than the Gerudo King, but according to the rumors, he was just as bad in his own world! Farore, if he failed to kidnap his world's Zelda, he might try with _this _one!"

The Gerudo was standing behind him, examining the list. Link saw his eyes widen, and when he noticed Link glaring, he muttered, "I didn't ask for this, Hero, I swear. I'm not suicidal. Master Hand must be out of his mind . . ." he trailed off when he glimpsed the disgust in the boy's eyes, then turned and left without another word.

* * *

  
Ten minutes later, everyone was out front in clothes they could work out in, mostly T-shirts and jeans or shorts. No one wore any jewelry. Samus wasn't allowed to wear her suit, so she wore knee-length black shorts, a dark green T-shirt, and a band to hold back her hair. Marth and Roy didn't have armor, instead opting for calf-length denim shorts and T-shirts, Marth in red, Roy in blue. Popo and Nana wore blue and pink shirts with jeans, respectively. Even Falcon didn't have his helmet on. Bowser removed all his spiked collars and bracelets. He looked strange without them.

"We're missing one," muttered Marth, taking a quick count. "Ganondorf better hurry up, he's gonna be late, then Master will kill him."

"ATTENTION!" Everyone twitched with surprise at Master's swift approach. Crazy floated behind him, occasionally twitching and sparking. "I'm going to pair you off for the training stages . . ."

"Hold on," interrupted Ness. "What's the first one?"

Crazy Hand cackled maniacally. "Your death, little dude!"

"Crazy Hand, shut up," growled Master Hand. He then noticed Wolf playing on his iPhone. He calmly floated up, plucked the phone from Wolf's paws, and threw it as hard as he could. The smashers heard a faint _splash_, presumably from the lake in the back yard. Wolf began to sulk.

Master Hand continued more calmly now. "Now. First, we're going to target shoot, first with the lightweight guns I'll be giving you, then the Cracker Launcher-like ones, and then throwing the grenades. After that, you guys will be racing each other on the ground, climbing virtual cliffs, swimming, and a bunch of other fun stuff."

"We're dead," muttered Peach. Zelda and Samus instantly agreed.

"First stage partners are as follows . . . wait, where are Ganondorf and Mewtwo?"

"Right here." Zelda flinched; the sudden voice had come from directly behind her. When she turned, Ganondorf was standing there, dressed plainly in a black shirt, pants, and cloak. Mewtwo wasn't wearing anything, but he seemed frail.

"I suppose you two hate me for taking your Triforce piece and limiting your powers?" asked Master Hand, pointing at them in turn. The Psychic Pokémon nodded vehemently.

_Even more than I hate Lucario_, he said. Lucario scowled.

"Quit it, you two," said Master sharply, noting the venomous looks they were giving each other. "Now . . ."

He handed everyone a slip of paper bearing his or her partner's name on it. Lucas was thrilled to be with Ness, Ness was less-than-thrilled at being with the boy that constantly bugged and followed him. Marth was surprised to be with Pit, who was okay with the partners.

The Hand . . . err, handed Mewtwo a scrap of paper. He glanced down--and immediately his complexion turned bright red. _Lucario, Lucario, Peach, Zelda, Sonic, Snake, Lucario, Lucario, Snake. _He looked up. Lucario's hands were shaking; he glared at Mewtwo with all the hatred in the world. _Die_, Lucario mouthed.

_Not happening, _Mewtwo replied silently. _I hope you choke on your own sweat._

Blissfully unconscious of the chaos he was causing, Master dropped the slip in Bowser's hand. Bowser scowled. _Damn, I'm stuck with Mustache-Face three times. _The turtle glared at the plumber, but Mario seemed indifferent. "I hate this Hand," muttered Bowser, "he has a sick sense of humor."

* * *

Finally, everyone received their partners and paired up accordingly. "Now, everybody get a gun!" a swarm of smashers raced for the crates Crazy Hand lugged in, smacking and punching, stepping on feet, playing a quick game of Tug-of-War . . . and then fleeing when Crazy Hand started throwing guns to the crowd, sometimes mistaking a smasher for a gun.

"WHOA! Stop!" roared the elder Hand, "Some of you get guns, the others come over here." He flew to a large belowground pool. "And here," to a set of digital cliffs that had appeared out of nowhere, "and over to where Crazy is to run races. Sonic's speed will be limited. On the cliffs I'd like Ganondorf and Zelda, running races Snake and Lucario, swimming Peach and Samus, Mewtwo and Roy, and Link and Yoshi."

Zelda winced. Link looked furious. "Master," he began.

"No buts, Hero," he growled.

"Hehehe! No BUTTS!" Crazy rapidly flew in circles, knocking over Samus, Falcon, Fox, and Red.

"Time for medication," sighed Master Hand. He pulled out a large syringe from nowhere and began to chase his brother around. They drifted past Mewtwo and Lucario, who were shooting at thick wooden targets with Red Team guns. Mewtwo had to hold it in his hands, expressly prohibited from using his Energy Field. Lucario smirked when Mewtwo missed the target entirely and hit Falco in the back of the head.

_Shut up_, growled the Psychic.

"You need to work out more, it's a light gun," replied Lucario mockingly. He shot without looking, splattering the bulls eye with a red capsule of paint. Mewtwo shook with rage. Only the thought of being expelled from the Mansion kept him from killing the Aura Pokémon right then and there. He instead chose to turn away and focus on aiming properly. This was a big mistake. Lucario took this opportunity to shoot Mewtwo in the tail with his gun, splashing him with bright red paint. Mewtwo turned around.

_Did you . . .?_

_"_Yep." Lucario began to laugh, but stopped, staggering backward, when a ball of paint, courtesy of Mewtwo, smacked him in the chest. Lucario retaliated by hitting Mewtwo in the arm, and soon it escalated into a barrage of red paint flying everywhere.

* * *

  
Falcon glared at his partner, Ike. "Hey, earth to Ike, what are you staring at?" he demanded tartly. The words then died in his throat. Mewtwo seized Lucario by the throat and hurled him to the ground, then began shooting him, rapidly and unmercifully, like a machine gun stuck on auto fire. Lucario's gun lay in the grass ten feet away, close to where Nana and Popo were climbing a tree under Crazy's supervision.

"So," commented Falcon, "now we know what happens when you irritate Mewtwo."

Samus stood on the diving board in her bathing suit, her partner, Peach, waiting patiently for Master Hand to shout go. Pit and Marth joined them, since Mewtwo wasn't done beating or being beaten by Lucario, and Falco and Fox.

Crazy Hand floated up and mimed a gun with his fingers. The enormous blast, much like their training sessions with him in Final Destination, caused Fox to fumble and fall in chest-first. Falco laughed and dove in gracefully, swimming far ahead of his Star Fox comrade. Samus merely stepped off the board. Peach did an elegant triple-flip into the water. "Show off," commented Samus. Peach stuck out her tongue and began to swim. Pit was far ahead already, but Marth struggled to go more than a few feet. Pit paused to look back, saw the Prince's predicament, and swam over to help. In the end, Samus won against Peach, Pit and Marth tied, and Falco beat Fox. They cleared the way for the next groups.

"Guess that's something I need to work on," admitted Marth, drying his hair with a towel. Pit grinned and shook out his feathers, then went to find Pikachu for target shooting.

* * *

Zelda approached the cliff apprehensively. She hated heights, but it would do no good to inform Master Hand. No one could tell the Hand anything without getting an earful about how they were bothering him. With a sigh, she waited patiently for Ganondorf, only to realize he was standing beside her. "Are you sure you don't want a head start?" she inquired.

"Why? I'm not wearing twenty pounds of armor, I shouldn't as slow as I am with it on. Are you sure you don't want one?"  
She bristled. "What does that mean?"

"You're not the most athletic person in the Mansion."

"I'm probably better than you are," she snapped back.

For the first time ever, Ganondorf laughed. Surprisingly, it didn't sound evil. "Princess, I spent twenty years training in swordsmanship and survival techniques, from the time I was five and far beyond the time I was crowned King at sixteen. Don't worry about me needing a head start."

I have to see this, she told herself. "3, 2, 1 . . . go!" Much to her surprise, Ganondorf sprang up agilely and began to climb far before Zelda put her foot against the side of the cliff. She gritted her teeth and began to climb.

It was fairly easy; all the foot and handholds were marked in red and blue. Once or twice, she lost her footing. Eventually, she hoisted herself up again, and continued climbing. At least she wasn't wearing her heavy dress and jewels.

Before she was halfway up, Ganondorf was sitting at the top, calmly watching the other smashers fight. He waited patiently for her to crawl over the ledge. Her face was red and she was short of breath, but she made it at least. "You're good," she said between gasps of air.

"Told you," he said simply, then climbed down to find Marth for grenade tossing.

* * *

Wolf was furious. He wanted his damn phone back, but it probably rested at the bottom of the lake out back. He angrily kicked at a stump. "Damn Hand!" he growled to himself.

"Squirtle?" a little blue turtle plucked at his pant leg with his mouth. A light bulb sparked into existence over Wolf's head. He picked up the turtle and brought him over to Red, whom was target shooting with Young Link.

"Hey, boy, can I talk to you?" Red nodded and put down the gun.

"Sorry, was Squirts bothering you?" he asked. Wolf grinned, err, wolfishly.

"No, boy, I have a plan. Master threw my phone into the pond; I want to borrow your turtle for a while. Okay?"

"No, sorry, he doesn't take orders from anyone except me," explained Red. Wolf scowled.

"Fine then. Order him to get my phone!"

"I'm busy," retorted the boy. He turned back to the target.

Wolf growled deep in his throat. "I could tell Master Hand it was you that flooded the basement last month practicing with your Pokémon in secret."

Red paled and began to shake. To get in more practice, Red made his Pokémon attack Sandbags in the basement. Unintentionally, Charry misfired while using Rock Throw and it ripped sections of the pipes from the basement ceiling, sending water gushing everywhere. Poor Red collected his Poké Balls and ran upstairs, hiding in a closet until someone who heard the noise came rushing down the hall, checked the basement, and screamed for Master Hand. Everyone spent several hours emptying the room after Mario and Luigi fixed the pipes. Unfortunately, Master Hand was still furious about that.

"Fine," he said in a low voice. "I'll come with you. Squirts likes it when I'm there, he'll feel more secure. But if we get in trouble, you have to tell Master you forced me into this. Okay?"

"I promise," replied Wolf automatically. Sadly, his furry fingers were crossed behind his back.

Red followed Wolf into the back yard, where he set Squirtle down. "Squirts, fetch Wolf's phone!" he commanded. Squirtle dove into the water.

Wolf grinned. "Good boy."

The turtle reappeared minutes later, carrying . . . something that was definitely not Wolf's phone. He gingerly plucked it out of the Pokémon's mouth. It was the lighter Roy had played with incessantly until Master lost his temper.

"This is going to be a long day," sighed Wolf, and placed the lighter off to the side.

Dinner was unusually subdued. Many of the smashers had bruises, Mewtwo and Lucario glared at each other from opposite ends of the table, blue fur and purple skin now with a reddish tint. Wolf and Red were missing; Pit was in the infirmary getting his wing patched up after a fight with Ike. Yoshi was too tired to fight with Kirby over the food. Roy was playing with his new lighter.

"Aww, what's the matter?" asked Crazy Hand evilly. "widdle babies twyred?"

"Shut up," responded Fox.

Crazy cackled. "Poor little Fox . . . little baby . . . want your Mommy to hug and care for you?"

"SHUT UP!" at once, almost everyone in the room tackled Crazy Hand, zapping him with magic, shooting him with arrows, burning him with lighters . . . .

Master entered the scene five minutes later, a bound, scarred, burned Crazy Hand tied up and gagged (is that possible?) in the corner. "I don't even want to know," he said, and floated back out.

Wolf stood amidst a pile of junk. Roy's lighter, Lucas's I-pod, some power tools belonging to Samus, Falcon, and the Star Wolf team, a pearl necklace Zelda lost months ago, daggers belonging to various people, Jigglypuff's amazing microphone/magic marker, a gun that Snake accidentally, somehow, broke, and various other miscellanea.

Wolf grimly sighed. "Now we know what happened to Game and Watch's frying pan," he said, holding up the 2-D pan, "and Peach's Golden Turnip," he held up the solid gold turnip with emerald leaves. "But still not my I-Phone!"  
"Well, you know there's another lake out here, right?" asked Red, watching Squirtle bring up a fragment of a Yoshi egg.

Wolf's eyelid twitched, and he howled to the sky like a demented dog. "I WANT MY PHOOOOO-OOO-OOOO-OOONE!!"

* * *

**_Okay, I know Wolf sounds retarded, but I needed someone other than C. Falcon to be the weird one for once.  Anyway, review!  
_****_Roy: I want my old lighter back, the flame's not as cool on my new one!  
Deal. Review, people!!_**


	4. Gasps! Another filler!

**Chapter 4: Argh, Another Filler!**

**_Okay, people, this is what I have so far. Tell me if I'm missing anyone._**

**_RED TEAM: Zelda, Ganondorf, Wolf, Mewtwo, Bowser, Pichu, Pit, Peach, Red, Luigi, Mario, Pikachu, Fox._**

**_GREEN TEAM: Jigglypuff, Link, Falco, Fox, Marth, Roy, Young Link, Ness, Lucas, Samus, Wario, DK, Yoshi, Falcon._**

**_BLUE TEAM: Sonic, Snake, Kirby, Ike, Popo, Nana, Lucario, Meta-Knight, ROB, Diddy, Olimar, GW, Dr. Mario._**

_**NOT INCLUDING: Toon Link (don't like the little brat)  
**  
**Yeah . . . If you have any more suggestions to teams, please PM or review! One week from today, I will write the next chapter. Okay, make it two weeks. :) I'm nice. **__**

* * *

**_

Roy was bored. Very bored. There was simply nothing to do with the tourney put on hold, the "game" on hold until Master Hand put the finishing touches on the virtual playing field, and the practice arena destroyed by a bad-tempered Bowser and crazy . . . Crazy Hand.

He sighed and threw a ball at the ceiling. _Thump!_ He caught it and threw it again. _Thump! Thump! Thunp!_ Marth, reading a book, glared up at him. "Quit it," he said angrily. "Do something your tiny brain can handle that will get you out of my hair. Go play with your lighter!"

"Master Hand threw it away," sulked the redhead. "He said if I ever set another cushion on fire, he'll throw me into the next century."

Marth sighed. "Fine. Go on the Internet or something. Just . . . stop being annoying."

Roy raised one eyebrow. "Is that actually possible?"

Marth thought about it. "Probably not," he admitted at last. "Now be quiet, I'm getting to the good part." He resumed reading his book.

Roy amused himself by making faces at Marth, until the bluehead chucked a pillow at him. The pyro then turned to his computer and went online to his favorite website, "Smasher Chat," a private chatroom for the smashers only.

**_--PyroFreak123 has logged in—_**

**_--SpaceGirl has logged in--_**

**PyroFreak123:** _'Sup?_  
**SpaceGirl: **_Not much._

**PyroFreak123:**_ . . . Wanna videotape a random person in the Mansion?_  
**SpaceGirl:** _Sure, what else is there to do?_

**PyroFreak123:** _Let's just walk around and find somebody to follow!  
_**SpaceGirl:** _Sure. My new identity will "Psycho-stalker chick." Fantastic._

**PyroFreak123:** _TY Samus!_

Roy grinned to himself and grabbed his camera from the desk. "I love this," he said evilly. Marth raised one eyebrow (How do they do it?!).

"What . . .?" and then he sighed. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

* * *

**Meanwhile:  
**  
Wolf whistled to himself as he hoisted a cage up farther on his hip. Red gave him a strange look. "Off to the pet store, Wolf?" he inquired.

Wolf nodded. "I'm going to buy a couple Water Pokémon, get my phone back. Your Squirtle's next to worthless."

"Well he's never seen an iPhone before!" said Red angrily. "Why don't you get a new one or something?"

"I want my old one!" screamed Wolf, stamping his foot like a whiny kid throwing a tempter tantrum. "Why don't you give everyone back their stuff?"

Red thought on that. "Good idea," he said at last. "Here." He handed Wolf the Squirtle Poké Ball and went over to a conveniently placed PC to retrieve his other Water Pokémon. "Just don't hurt them. Gyrados will bite your head off."

Wolf scowled. "Lovely. At least I won't need the cage."

He threw it over his shoulder, clipping Pit on the wing. Pit, turning with a yell, spotted the wolf and the boy standing together. "Watch it, Wolfie," he threatened, "or I'll make you into a living Light Arrow quiver." Wolf merely gave him a contemptuous look.

Red shoved five or six more Poké Balls in to Wolf's paws. "Now. Go!"

Wolf grinned evilly and ran to the backyard. He ignored the beautiful scenery, the majestic trees, and serene lakes. He focused on the poorly concealed pile of junk that marked the pool where his phone was (or so he hypothesized). "Now, FIND ME PHONE!" he screamed. He threw the balls into the air. A Gyrados, Squirtle, Mudkip, Lotad, Seel, Piplup, and Suicune all leaped from their little habitats out into the peaceful mini-world of the Smash Mansion's back yard.

"'Find me phone?'" questioned Mudkip. "What terrible grammar."

"I've been with this guy before. He's foul-mouthed and rather thick in the head," responded Squirtle."Lovely," muttered Suicune grimly.

"FIND THE DAMN THING!" With Pokémon groans the six Water creatures dove gracefully into the pool, ignoring Wolf's threats and vicious cussing.

"Is that a phone?" asked Mudkip, brushing against a phone half-buried in the mud. "I think it is. I'll ask the doggie." He shot out of the pool and offered it to Wolf.

Wolf grinned and looked it over. The phone was about the size of a brick, with a six-inch antenna. "This isn't my phone," he said in a dull voice. "It's not even an iPhone. This is a . . . I have no idea what this is." He tossed it away. "GET BACK IN THE POOL, FOOL!"

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

Bowser was in a bad temper. His cell phone mysteriously vanished, Peach "accidentally" whacked him with a golf club when he tried to steal a cookie, Master Hand wasn't letting the Koopa Kids to visit him in the Mansion, and his attempt to vent his anger by causing mischief backfired when Captain Falcon found the Motion Sensor Bomb in his closet and alerted the Wire-Frame team.

Sighing, he passed by Red, who carried a whole bunch of wet junk in his hands. "Hey Bowser, any of this yours?" he asked. Bowser stopped to stare. Red dumped the junk on the ground.

"Well . . ." with a groan, Bowser knelt to inspect the stuff. "This mine," he lifted up a broken picture of him and his kids. "And these," a spiky bracelet, a very old GameBoy, and a broken spike. "But my phone isn't here."

"What type is it?" asked Red.

"One of the first," replied Bowser. "It's called a brick."

Red sweat-dropped. "Um, what does it look like?"

Bowser scowled. "Like a brick, obviously!"

"Umm . . . I think I saw Wolf throwing one against a tree outside," said Red nervously, "but I don't know if it's yours . . . ."

"The antenna will break!" exclaimed Bowser furiously. "I'll kill him!"

With that, he stomped off to recover his crappy, 10+-year-old phone from a maniacal Wolf O'Donnell. Red blinked and resumed returning items to their rightful owners.

* * *

**With Wolf:**

Rain had begun to fall softly on Wolf O'Donnell as he waited for the Pokémon to find his phone. That bricklike one refused to break, so he absently played with its antenna.

The slight drizzle became a downpour. Wolf used Peach's old, pink umbrella to keep most of the rain off his head, and played on Yoshi's miraculously intact GameBoy to pass the time.

Finally, Suicune resurfaced, bearing . . . Gods! His iPhone! Wolf leaped up, wrenched the impossibly wet phone out of her mouth, and embraced it. "Oh, oh, my precious little phone!" he enthusiastically petted Suicune and rubbed her belly. Like a dog, Suicune rolled over. "That's a good girl! Who's a good girl?!" All of the other Pokémon, demanding attention, leaped on him. He petted each one, even the slimy Lotad and Mudkip.

Just then, Red came back for another load of junk. "Found it, then?" he inquired. Wolf nodded.

"Treat these wonderful Pokémon to a nice treat," he replied. "I officially like your Suicune. She's a wonderful girl! She found my little phone!" he stroked her blue fur. "That's a good girl!"

_Well, I figured if I didn't want to be sworn at any more, I'd best retrieve that cursed phone and stop messing around,_ Suicune confided to Lotad. The others sniggered.

_Let's just hope it's all in one piece, or the Wolfie will kill us all,_ said Gyrados.

_Gods forbid,_ muttered Squirtle.

* * *

**Back with Roy and Samus:**

"Hold on . . . yeah! Let's follow him!"

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Roy. Remember what happened when Link started following him around? Even though he hid in the shadows, he was still found out . . . ."

"Oh come on, he won't kill us. He didn't kill Link, did he?"

"No . . ."

"Well then, stop being a wuss." Roy, lifting the lightweight camera, focused on his target. "This is gonna be good . . ."

DK passed them, gave them an odd look, and turned down a vacant hall, muttering something about insanity in the young people these days. Roy was far from caring, however. He calmly waited for Ness to pass, tossed Samus a Cloaking Device, activated his own, and grinned in satisfaction.

Ganondorf stood alone in the hall, gazing at the rain through the window. Outside, a furious Wolf screamed and yelled at Red's Pokémon. But he wasn't really watching Wolf. He was thinking about many things, Link, Zelda, the Triforce, the Gerudo, especially . . . .

He blinked. Surely, that wasn't . . . no way. No. But . . . yes!

Samus tilted her head in surprise when the Gerudo suddenly muttered something and ran down the hall, cloak flapping around his body. Roy chased after him, wordless. Samus hesitated, but followed too.

Drawing the hood of his cloak up, Ganondorf hurriedly opened the doors and dashed outside. There was a small squeak, a tiny, cloaked figure hurtled out of the sheets of rain directly at him. Laughing, he dropped to the sodden ground.

A sudden commotion behind him drew his attention to the two people rapidly materializing behind his left shoulder. He scowled. "Roy . . . Samus . . ."

"Meep!" Roy tossed the camera to Samus, who tossed it back to Roy. "Umm . . ."

"Roy," said Ganondorf calmly. "Get rid of that camera, destroy the tape, and I won't cut you open from gut to chin. Got it?"

Roy nodded vehemently. Samus, however, was curious. "Who's that?" she inquired, pointing.

"GO!" They turned tail and ran like girls. Ganondorf turned his attention to the cloaked figure. "I was wondering if you'd come, Arina."

She grinned and removed the hood. "Of course, Father," she replied. "Where else would I be?"

* * *

**_Well, what do you think of THAT?!  
_Wolf: I love my phone!  
_Yeah yeah yeah, be quiet. Two weeks from today, I'll write the next chapter, with or without your suggestions. Thanks to all those who reviewed and fav.'d. You're all great! You deserve an iPhone! Nevertheless, unfortunately, I can't afford one for myself, let alone all of you guys/girls. Thanks though!  
_Ness: Review!  
Mario: You think they'll actually listen to you?  
Samus: Probably not. Moreover, why is my name SpaceGirl?!  
People! SHUT UP AND END THE CHAPTER!  
DK: But it's fun!  
Master Hand: Yeah!  
_Okay, this pitiful attempt to increase word count is annoying. Good-bye!_**

**_P.S. Bricks are awesome phones. My uncle owns one (or used to, I haven't seen him in a few years, he lives pretty far away). It's still in fairly good condition. Hell if I know where he got it. Look it up on the Internet if you want to find out more about them. Anyway, yeah . . . Review and junk. And if the formating is off, FFN is being evil :)_**


	5. It Begins!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 5: It Begins!

_**No. Freaking. Reviews. The last chapter was NOT a bad filler! It bears on the story later on! Jeez, peoples, I deserve reviews!  
**_**Zelda: Yeah, yeah. Shut up and write already.**

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen . . . it is time."

Silently, 30+ slightly impatient smashers strapped special suits and armor over their clothes. The outfit consisted of a black jumpsuit with color-coordinated trim and a heavy vest. Sensors in the vest, when triggered, would make their target vanish to reappear in a Monitor Room. When explaining this to the smashers Master Hand used really advanced, technical terms that made no more

sense than Crazy Hand's chewing on a lime turnip. They would have several weapons, he said. A "grenade," a "bomb" to plant in the ground, "sniper rifles," "handguns," and a few miscellaneous things. Crazy Hand added that if they found any "Awesome little goodies," they could be exchanged for money. Master Hand then gave him his medication and sent him to bed.

Link sighed to himself as he zipped up the vest. Everyone passing him in the Locker room took one look at him and knew that he was praying for Zelda to be safe. Secretly, in a corner of his mind, he asked Farore to grant him victory in the battle. _After all, it's only fair if my team wins, and Ganondorf fails . . . ._

"Link!" he snapped to attention. Mario stood before him, looking odd in his uniform. "Listen up! The transportal is waiting for us."

The Hero of Twilight sighed and snatched a green team handgun from the checkout desk. Marth and Roy waited for him in the transportal, the bluenette patiently, the redhead not so patiently. "Finally, dude, you took forever," declared Roy. The Wire Frame technician at the control desk rolled its virtual eyes and hit the "Transport" button.

* * *

**Blue Team  
****Leader: Meta-Knight  
****Location: Outside the Fortress**

_Flash! Zoom! Whip! Ouch! _All around him, Solid Snake heard noises. Yells, complaints, zooms, hisses, and curses. And then, his name.

"Snake!" he turned. It was Meta-Knight, wearing a strange head adornment. "According to Master Hand, I am the Blue Leader," he explained. "This little place," he motioned to the small, sturdy stone fortress, "is our base." He was explaining to everyone, not just Snake, but the FOXHOUND agent had the feeling Meta-Knight was trying to assert his command. "Now. ROB, Kirby, and Ike I want patrolling the outside of the fortress. Nana and Olimar, patrolling inside the fortress. The others will move about in pairs to capture other teams' flags. That means Diddy and GW, Dr. Mario and Lucario, and Snake and Sonic."

"Wait . . . WHO and Sonic?!" demanded Snake suddenly. Meta-Knight rolled his eyes in exasperation at Snake's stupid reaction.

"You, Snake," he said patiently. He turned to the others. "Now GO!"

As everyone met with their partners, Snake glared venomously at Sonic. Ever since their slight misunderstanding a few months ago, they kept well away from each other.

And the misunderstanding?

Simply put, Sonic stole Snake's favorite sandwich.

_You're dead,_ mouthed Snake.

_Hedgehogs eat snakes, _replied Sonic. _And I can run faster than you can shoot._

_Bite me._

_Kill yourself._

Lucario, standing nearby with a sniper rifle in hand, rolled his eyes at them and pretended to shoot himself in the head.

* * *

**Red Team:  
Leader: Mewtwo  
****Location: Fortress Conference Room**

_Mwuhahaha! I am the leader! All of you must pay homage! _cackled Mewtwo from the podium. Everyone stared at him. _I mean . . . ahem. Attention please. _

"You suck," growled Fox. "And this fortress sucks."

_That's it, McCloud! _snarled Mewtwo. _Just for that, you and Wolf go out to shoot people together! _This was met by a series of screamed protests. _TOO BAD! What I say goes! Or do you want to work on sewage detail?_

"Wait, this place has a bathroom?" inquired Red. Mewtwo nodded. "Great." He shot off up the stairs to find said bathroom.

Mewtwo massaged his temples. _Okay, let's start assigning partners. This way, no one will be snuck up on. Wolf and Fox, obviously, are out to find enemies and shoot them. Red, when he comes back, will be with Peach guarding the fortress. Bowser and Pichu, also guarding the fortress. Mario and Luigi, and, eventually, Pikachu, and Pit will relieve them. If at any time you wish to switch partners, do it when you get back to the fortress. Zelda and Ganondorf go out and try to bring down as many as possible until you run out of ammo. Bring a few extra ammo cases with you, and when they're depleted, come back for more. Got it?_

There were scattered nods. Mewtwo smirked in satisfaction. _Good. Now, DO MY BIDDING! And have fun!_

On the way out the door, Pit muttered to Bowser, "Does he seem a bit cracked?" Bowser heartily agreed.

* * *

**Green Team  
Leader: Captain Falcon  
****Location: The River**

"Wow, who knew we'd materialize in a river?" grumbled Ness, dumping the water from his baseball cap.

"Master Hand," said Falco bitterly, wringing out his feathers. "And now I'm soaked!"

"Too bad," growled Link, shouldering his sniper rifle. Actually, he'd snatched it from Roy. "Let's get this over with."

"Good idea," said Captain Falcon briskly. "Now. As I am the Team Leader . . . hell with it, everyone partner up with someone and go somewhere. Except for two teams, you guys stay here. Okay?"

The whole team cheered for Falcon's leniency, and DK, Ness, Lucas, and Yoshi volunteered to stay and guard their base. Yoshi coughed up a few Green grenades, and Lucas added his bombs to the mix. Finally, the guards were only left with their handguns.

"Link. I know you brought a crapload of stuff. Cough it up," ordered the Captain. Link scowled and dug around in his tunic, eventually producing ten bombs, thirteen grenades, three handguns, and one of the two sniper rifles on his shoulder. "And the other stock of grenades, please." Ten more grenades came from Link's boots and the pack attached to his belt. "And the other sniper rifle."

"How'd you know about that?!" demanded Link. Falcon merely smiled. Grimacing, Link produced a large bundle of small metal objects from his hat, and then assembled the gun before handing it to Falcon. "And the handguns."

"Mother Farore!" said Link crossly. He gave Falcon the five handguns from various places in his jumpsuit and tunic.

"_Now _you can go." Still scowling, Link retreated, Roy in tow. A tiny, sparkling ball appeared besides Falcon's ear. "Thanks, Navi," he whispered. Navi tinkled in reply then flew away to rejoin the Hero.

* * *

**Green Team: Roy and Link  
Location: R27**

"Damn that Falcon!" burst out Link, as soon as they were far enough out of his hearing. "How'd he know I took all that stuff for myself?!" viciously, he kicked at a stone. It rolled down the hill into the virtual river with a convincing _splash! _

"That's some good programming," commented Roy. Link only grunted in reply, making his way up the hill.

"What's that?" he asked quietly, pointing. Roy squinted. Two red-trimmed black smudges moved stealthily out of the trees at the top of the hill, dark against the black sky, moving slowly to avoid detection.

"It's Fox!" squealed Roy. "HEY FOX!"

"Shut up, you idiotic pyromaniac freak!" hissed Link. Briefly, he took aim and fired at Fox and Wolf, who'd just appeared behind his partner. Fox ducked at the last moment and the green charge hit the tree, splattering a green mark all over. Wolf howled at the top of his lungs and shot three times. One splashed against the ground inches from Roy's feet, one shot between Link's legs to splash into the river, and the third went overhead. Obviously, anger made it hard for Wolf to aim properly.

"Hey, Wolfie! That's not nice!" pouted Roy, and tossed a grenade . . . .

* * *

**Red Team: Wolf and Fox  
****Location: Section R27**

Wolf saw the grenade coming long before it exploded. Fox, half-hidden behind a bush, didn't notice. "Damn it!" he snarled, grabbing Fox's arm. _If Fox is "killed," Mewtwo will __**really **__kill me!_

"What the hell, Wolf?!" demanded the kitsune as Wolf dragged him away. "Why didn't we just fight them?! I had a perfect shot at Link's chest all lined up!" _Moreover,_ _it would have been funner to fight them, he_ reasoned.

"Because, Roy tossed a GRENADE at us!" he snapped back.

"OH."  
Wolf rolled his eyes at the black, virtual sky and forced through a pair of trees positioned so close together, it was impossible to tell whose leaves were whose. As he did so, the grenade exploded, sending green splotches everywhere.

"AFTER THEM!" Wolf groaned again and continued pulling Fox by the collar through the forest. After all, it was easier to deal with him when he was being hauled along like a sack of potatoes.

Or lime turnips.

* * *

**Blue Team: Sonic and Snake  
****Location: Section F39**

Sonic sped up and down the hills, admiring the excellent programming. The grass was a deep, vibrant green that seemed to glow against the blackness of the sky. The trees were different colors depending on their type, and the flowers showed up brilliantly against the greenness of the earth.

Pausing to look into the clear yet slightly blue-tinted river, Sonic reflected on the time he'd stolen Snake's sandwich. He hadn't actually _known _it was Snake's, as it had been in the refrigerator without a name or anything on it. Naturally, the hungry hedgehog took it. Only after Snake started yelling did he realize that the tasty morsel had been his.

Here came Snake himself, lugging more than Pikachu's body weight in grenades and handguns, two rifles, and two large bombs. His face, wet with perspiration from the long trip, looked angry. "Why didn't you help me carry this crap?!" he growled angrily.

"I tried to," replied Sonic. "You said, 'not on your life, you stupid hedge-pig.' And might I remind you, the term is hedgehog."  
Snake swore under his breath and looked around. "No one here," he muttered. "Wait!" across the river were two black-clad Red Team members. He recognized the jewelry on one. It was Peach.

"Peach," said Sonic in awe. "Wow, she looks hot in black . . ."

"Shut up!" hissed Snake. He casually loaded his rifle, lay on his stomach at the top of the hill, took aim . . . .

"I don't think so." The click of a handgun sounded over his head. It was Nana and Ike.

"Drop the weapon," ordered Ike. Snake slowly put down the gun and stood, hands over his head. Nana had Sonic pinned against a tree, he could see it in the corner of his vision.

"You can come out now, Red Team," called Nana, "We got 'em." Peach and Pit slowly made their way up the hill, and Nana grinned nastily. "Made an alliance with them," she explained. "They'd play dumb, we'd snatch the ones out to shoot them."

"Damn, that's mean," complained Sonic. Nana glared at him and placed an Entrapment Cord around his wrists, the virtual battle-game version of handcuffs. Ike did likewise for Snake, much to his chagrin. Caught so soon in a game that should be second nature for him . . . .

By then, Peach and Pit had reached the top of the hill. "Nice work, Blue Team," said Peach enthusiastically.

Ike looked proud. "Yeah, it was pretty good," he said happily. He turned to the two Trapped prisoners and hit the "Imprison" button on his wrist control. They vanished in a spray of blue sparks.

"Too good," said Pit, smirking. He pulled out his gun. Ike didn't have time to turn before he was shot in the back.

The dematerializing process is very interesting to watch. First, the subject turns completely white except for a few dots of whatever color shot he was hit by. Next, the white fades away, leaving a purple Wire-Frame. Then, the frame collapses and vanishes. A white stream floats lazily to the black sky. Finally, it was all gone.

The process took about three seconds, but long before it was over, Nana whipped out her own gun, shooting at Peach. The shot narrowly missed the Princess's head. Cursing in an unchildlike way, Nana shot into the trees, firing all the while. Pit fired steadily back, but never once hit the female climber. "Oh well," sighed Peach. "We got one, the Blue Team got rid of two enemies. It's a cause to celebrate."

Pit nodded and stuck the gun back in its holster. "What now?"

Peach smirked. "Now, we wait for another pair of suckers to form an alliance with. That way, we win the game."

And Pit agreed.

_**

* * *

**__**This chapter is a little longer, to apologize for my unwillingness to update. Forgive me, peoples. And the next chapter will be up within a week.  
**__**If anyone has any ideas, tell me! I'm willing to listen!**_

_**REVIEW!! **_:) :) :) :)

**P.S. Many Form Man, if you read this, the Sonic/Snake thing was taken directly from your review as a tribute :D **


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